Tip #34: Near the end of the night, start drinking water

If you're out having a few drinks, an hour before the evening winds down order two glasses of water. Drink one, and give one to someone else who's out with you; pick someone who needs it or someone you particularly care about. If there's time, repeat this. Water helps prevent dehydration (a leading cause of hangovers). Also, someone who has a glass of water in his hand is less likely to drink something else, and slowing down at the end of the night is generally a good idea.

Tip #33: Don't criticize someone in front of other people

When you need to confront someone, do it in private. People are a lot more defensive when they have an audience in no small part because they feel they're losing face.

Tip #32: Use a bad name rather than an okay one

If you're good at naming things, this doesn't apply to you.

If you give something a name that's okay but not actually good, people will probably use that name because it's good enough. Therefore, if you can't think of a good name for something, give it a terrible name. Other people will recognize that the name isn't good and call you on it. Say you aren't good at names, and ask them what to call it.

Tip #31: Ask upset customers what they want

When you have an upset customer or client, your instinct may be to immediately start offering solutions. Resist. You are two steps ahead of where you should be.

First, express sincere sympathy or empathy for her situation. If you can, be sorry that it happened. If she's just being unreasonable, show sympathy for the fact that she is sad about whatever it is.

Second, ask what she wants. Don't be confrontational: "Well what do you want me to do about it?!" Don't be obsequious: "Of course I'll do whatever you want." Just evenly ask how she'd like the situation to be resolved.

The results can be amazing. Frequently, people just want to be heard. The fact that you listened is enough. Also frequently what a customer wants is actually reasonable. And if you don't know what that want is, the odds are a lot lower that you'll meet it.

The alternative is terrible. You can end up jumping through a lot of unnecessary hoops doing things you think will improve the situation, and all the while the customer is getting more frustrated that you're not doing the right thing.

One more point: a frustrating part of a negative customer service experience is the feeling of not being in control. When you ask the customer what she wants, you're putting a lot of control in her hands. Even if she doesn't know it, that in and of itself can make a big difference.

Tip #30: If you call someone to say you're running late, make sure you get your time estimate right the second time.

You see this all the time. Someone calls to say he'll be five minutes late, and then he's actually ten minutes late. You already know how this makes you feel, so I don't need to describe it.

If you realize you're going to be late and call or send a message, make sure you can meet the new commitment. Build in buffer time. Don't disappoint the same person twice in a row.

Tip #29: You're not going to want to do it later either

Every single time you encounter a basic task you don't want to do, say to yourself "I'm not going to want to do it later either."

There are occasional exceptions. You might be legitimately tired or rushing out the door. But most of the time, it isn't that you don't want to do whatever it is now. You just don't want to do it at all. You may as well get it out of the way.

I say this out loud to myself several times a day.

Tip #28: Reread email before forwarding it

If you are going to forward a lengthy email chain to someone who isn't already on the chain, reread the whole thing first. Someone earlier might have said something the new person shouldn't read. If you're the one to forward the inappropriate content, you bear significant responsibility.

Reread it before addressing the message to the new recipient.

Tip #27: Empty the drying rack before doing the dishes

If you add wet dishes to the drying rack and end up filling it up, you'll have gotten the ones that were already dry wet again and may have trouble telling them apart. Just empty it first.

Tip #26: Don't judge people for awkward use of third person pronouns

English doesn't have a good gender neutral third person pronoun. There isn't anything you can do about this. Bad options include:

• Just using "he" (can come off as sexist)
• Just using "she" (can come off as overcorrection)
• Alternating between "he" and "she" (potentially confusing)
• Using "He or she" (awkward)
• Using "They" (technically incorrect)
• Making up a new word (people probably won't know what you mean)

There simply isn't a good answer. Acknowledge that whatever choice you make, the other choices are equally valid, and someone who doesn't make the same choice as you isn't dumb or wrong or a jerk.

Tip #25: Compliment people on new haircuts

Pay attention to when people around you get haircuts. When someone does, compliment him or her if it looks good. An offhand "Nice haircut" is great.

Tip #24: Tell your partner if you think about breaking up

There's a pattern some people fall into. It goes like this:

1. Some things aren't great in your relationship. You get sad about it.
2. You think about breaking up.
3. Thinking about breaking up makes you sad. You realize you don't want to end the relationship and that you're happier in it than out.
4. You decide not to break up.
5. Deciding not to break up makes you feel better. Not only are you no longer sad about the relationship ending, you feel like you've asserted control. Sure, things aren't great, but it's your decision to stay in the relationship. You feel in control.
6. Time passes. Because nothing actually got better in the relationship, return to step 1.

This cycle repeats itself for a while. Each time through it's a bit less effective. You think longer about breaking up, and deciding not to is a harder decision. It takes less time before you start over again.

Eventually you hit a point where it isn't worth it any more, and you decide to tell your partner. At this point, it may well be too late for the relationship. You've been considering ending it for months and have already used up a number of second chances without input from your partner.

If you realize you've entered this cycle, tell your partner the first time. Explain that you don't want to break up but that the problems in the relationship were enough to make you consider doing so. It'll be more work than just keeping quiet, but it's also significantly more likely to keep the relationship going in the long run, since you'll have the opportunity to address and fix the problems in it.

A key part of this is not just saying "I have a problem" but rather "I have a problem and it made me consider breaking up." You need to let your partner know how serious it is.

Tip #23: Be consistent with your pets

People understand exceptions. Pets do not.

If you make a rule for a pet, it applies all the time and for all people. My cats don't get people food. I make it clear to guests that the rules apply to them too and that it isn't okay to feed anything to a cat. The result is that the cats never, ever beg for food because they know it just isn't going to happen.

If someone fed them scraps every once in a while, they'd learn to beg harder.

Tip #22: Avoid words that weaken what you're saying

Take a look at the difference between these two sentences:

I'm kind of concerned about the impact adding this feature might have on the scope of the project. I think if we try to do this now we won't have time to do it right, and we might introduce bugs or not get the user interface right. We should probably put it off until the next release.

versus

I'm concerned about the impact adding this feature will have on the scope of the project. If we try to do this now we won't have time to do it right, and we might introduce bugs or not get the user interface right. We should put it off until the next release.

Don't hedge what you're saying. Get rid of the words that weaken your argument. They accomplish nothing. If you're wrong, being tentative about it doesn't make you less wrong. If you're right, your apparent lack of confidence in your own point is contagious.

Note that I left the one legitimate "might" in the second version. It isn't a sure thing that pushing the new feature in now will introduce bugs; that's just a risk I'm mentioning.

(Second note: it isn't a potential risk, it's an actual one. I had a weakening word in there first time I wrote this, but I caught it when I was proofreading this.)

Tip #21: Write out numbers when making plans

If you have a typo in a word, people can usually figure out what the word was supposed to be. Even if you ended up with a different valid word in the process, context lets them know something is wrong. And even if you mangle a word so severely that it's unrecognizable, the reader will recognize that there's a problem and call you on it.

Numbers are different. Every number is a valid number, so if you miss a numeral or transpose a couple or just hit the wrong key, it is not immediately obvious that anything is wrong. Sometimes you get lucky and end up with something that doesn't make sense -- a price with more than two numerals past the decimal or a phone number with only six digits -- but you can easily have an unnoticable mistake. You want to meet a friend for dinner at 7:00, but your finger slips and you type 6:00 instead.

When dealing with times, write out the words rather than using numbers. Meet your friend for dinner at seven rather than 7:00. For dates, write out the word for the month and include the day of the week as a check value. If you make plans for and type 7/14 or 8/13 when you meant to type 7/13, it'll probably be missed. If you make them for Tuesday, July 14, your friend will notice when putting it on a calendar that the 14th is a Wednesday and will ask you what day you really meant.

Tip #20: Do tasks that require other people first

When you start a new project, figure out what tasks in that project will require help from other people.  Make your first priority be contacting those people and getting them to do their part in it. 

It's very, very tempting to leave the part that requires others for later.  Resist this temptation.  If you run low on time, you can push yourself to get more done.  You can work harder or stay late to finish what you need to.  It isn't fair to expect others to do so because you waited, and they might not be willing or able.

Tip #19: Tip the bartender for bringing you water

It's just as much work for a bartender to bring you a glass of water as it is to get you a beer, but people normally only tip if they're paying for the drink.  If you give someone a dollar for bringing you a couple of glasses of water, it's a lot more memorable than doing the same for a drink, so your benefits of tipping (whether altruistic or selfish) are magnified.

Tip #18: At the end of the day, write down the first thing to do tomorrow

Whether you're starting a new task or continuing an old one, before you leave work make a note of what you should start with the following morning. When you get in, you'll have a task to do immediately to feel productive right away.

Once you finish that first task you can make a list of the other things you'll do for the day.

Tip #17: Sit in the front

If you're in a class or a large meeting, sit at the front of the room. If you're in a smaller meeting, sit near the head of the table where the speaker or speakers sit.

When you sit at the front, you'll feel more engaged, and you'll be able to hear better what the presenters are saying. If you're sitting with the important people, other people in the meeting will assume you're important too.

Tip #16: Order less spicy food the first time at a new restaurant

Many restaurants, particularly Thai, Indian, and some Mexican, will let you specify how spicy you want your food to be. If you are at a restaurant for the first time, order your food one step less spicy than you normally would.

If your food's too hot, you may be unable to eat it. If it's not spicy enough, you can generally add more spice at the table, and even if you can't you can still eat it. On subsequent trips to that restaurant you'll know what their scale is and can order accordingly.

Tip #15: Watch out for U-Haul trucks

U-Haul trucks are the scariest thing on the road.

There are three reasons you should pay a lot of attention when you're driving anywhere near a U-Haul:
1. Most people are used to driving much smaller vehicles. Driving a large, boxy truck is challenging.
2. U-Haul does a terrible job maintaining their vehicles. They just barely keep them running. One could fail at any moment.
3. People driving U-Hauls are generally in the process of moving, which is stressful and distracting in its own right.

Put these together and you end up with someone driving a large, unfamiliar, poorly-maintained vehicle while stressed out and distracted. Give this person a wide berth.

This doesn't apply anywhere near as much to other truck rental companies. Most do a better job maintaining their vehicles and are, in part as a result of that, more expensive. That means that the people renting them did some research and chose to pay more for a better vehicle from a less recognized brand.

Tip #14: Have an event at least once a year that forces you to do deep cleaning

Having a big event will make you clean up and finish any outstanding building projects that you've left undone. Don't wait until you have everything in order to schedule the event; set a date and use that as a deadline. This will keep you from leaving repairs or improvements half done for too long.

The event itself is the icing on the cake. Having parties or customer appreciation events or plenary meetings is fun, productive, or both.

This applies to individual homes and to businesses of all sizes.